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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

THE BAD 8 SUPERSIZE - Part VI


HUMMER H2 SUT


Contrary to popular belief, a mid-gate doesn't guarantee a Good 12 Supersize victory. After being propped up in the Chevrolet Avalanche winning post and the Ford Explorer Sport Trac losing post, this Hummer H2 SUT and its mid-gate fail to engender love or passion. In fact, the Hummer H2 SUT does invoke passionate diatribes; 99.9% of the time in a very bad way. This be one of those times, senor.

Hummer H2's have little going for them. Horribly expensive, wretchedly impractical, excessively thirsty; terrible anti-social - these are the traits exemplified in a loud and audacious manner. With the H2 SUT, those same characteristics are taken up to 11. Bad news. Why, pray tell, is there even an attempt at a truck bed? Seriously. Pray tell.

Why do H2 SUT owners, rare though they may be, so freakin' frequently choose yellow? Because their choice of vehicle didn't speak loudly enough about their utter lack of inner confidence? Would you like to read some more questions for which The Good Car Guy provides no viewable answer; questions for which the answer is either completely obvious or unknown to manking? Or is the point that the Hummer H2 SUT sucks already clear? 

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Alternatives: prison cell, a rocky and barren and lonely small island, a Ford F150, or a Chevrolet Avalanche

Necessary Incentizing To Switch To The Good 12 Supersize: Not possible, man.

Anything Else? Yes, just frustration and shock that humanity, or some small cross-section of it, is interested in this vehicle.

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